Nev’s Ann Louise tames a big sea, the enviable Southwold family regatta, Summer Winers and photos `up close, low and personal!’ 
              My friend Hans Staal in the Netherlands   convinced me that the best, and certainly the most  realistic photographs   of models on the water are obtained using a camera and getting as low down to   the level of the water as possible. Another friend, Neville Wade of the UK   remembered reading that in the now defunct magazine of mine, Windling World and inspired by Hans, sent   me these  few photos of one of his three superb square riggers ploughing   through pond waters of his local sailing pond in Sheffield, England. A great   admirer of Staal’s work, Nev says that he always strives to emulate   Staal. 
                
              Above is the Ann Louise photographed by Neville    and in the group cluster that follows, are a few taken by Hans, included   to further hammer home the points leading to the achievement of such brilliant   photos, as well as a couple by Auckland Ancient Mariner, Richard Gross. The first   two photos below shows his Garnelenschuit with crew getting ready to sail, the   crew also made by Hans, their method of construction outlined in an earlier   column. The photograph to the right of that one, the Fife design 12.68m  Lucky Girl  of 1909-1910,   the model built by Gisela and Helmut Scharbaum over a period of 1300 hours Enjoy   them, have a go with the camera yourselves and remember to get low and capture   the model as close to you as possible and just when it` looks   right.’ 
              The first of the second pair of photos   lower left were taken by Richard Gross – a wonderful shot of Aucklander Ron   Rule’s pirate vessel Lady of   Fortune, and to the right of that, Richard’s own Bawley,    Anita. 
              
              
                
                
              As alluded to above, another model   shipwright and model yachtsman taking some exceptional photographs of late is   Neville Wade. Immediately above is his Ann   Louise caught pummeling into a big sea in a South Atlantic bight   (actually the low draft pond where he sails!)  Get in close, crouch low   and if possible almost within spray area of the water, and don’t strive to frame   the whole model.  (Oh yes…and watch out for the bowsprit in case a rogue   wind gust causes the model to suddenly change course and head for you with   intent to re-arrange the features of your face!     
              
              Another ultra-close shot, this one from Andreas   Gondesen, Master Model Shipwright in the Republic of Germany, this one of his   1664-65  Zeven Provincien, flagship of Admiral  de Ruyter gathering momentum in the first shot, and the   intricate stern shown to advantage in the second   photo. 
                
              Kiss’n cuddlin’ up   close and personal in full view of spectators, and in broad daylight! Two Starlets, Richard Gross’s Mist and nearest to the camera, Ron Rule’s Star Bd comparing notes (“Hey quit   cuddling me!”) while taking time out from Ancient Mariner fleet activity on the   water at Onepoto in Auckland, New Zealand.  Come on you guys - you may call   it `rafting’ up’ but people are becoming suspicious and beginning to talk! Regular `cuddle ups?  It’s just not cricket  whats   more, remember the Papparazi are everywhere! 
                
              `Let us endeavor so   to live that when we come to die, 
                even the undertaker   will be sorry’. (Mark Twain) 
                
              Southwold is a small town situated at the most easterly   point of England, a town unique in that it has a history of model yacht sailing   that dates back to 1892. The regattas held there are unique in that they are   family oriented, the boats are free-sailed without radio control usually over   two lengths of the pool with the Southwold club in England with events sailed   under Victorian rules, the handicapping being based on the length  of a   boat hull and with races usually sailed on a reach. 
              
              
              
              
                
                    
                      Beach yawls on the charge | 
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              The pond was rebuilt in 1995 and there have been immense   developments in boat design over the years since. Since 1998 when I did an   article in Windling World with   great help from the then Commodore , Nigel Osmer who supplied me with   information and photographs taken for me by his wife, I have now found it   extremely difficult to even make contact with anyone at the Southwold body,   making efforts to do so being akin to pulling teeth, not to mention the hours   spent on the internet digging and delving in Sherlock Holmes and Inspector   Poirrot  style.  It seems to be a closely guarded secret this event to   the stage that even for someone trying to tell others about its many charms, the   task of gleaning material is one that ends in abandonment. Perhaps that is part   of the success of the Southwold Model Yacht regattas, ask no questions, ferret   not nor dig too deeply for added information, just come and enjoy these events   in Sussex. Hopefully the above throws a little light on the event and long may   it continue exactly as it was intended to. 
                
              The Tide ever   flowed 
                  And the wind always   blowed, 
                  From the place where we   goed.
              Anon 
                
              Wonder if on their travels, any cruising   yachties have ever journeyed up the Ning   Nang Nong (where the cows go `Bong’ and the monkeys all say ‘Boo’,   (where)  there’s a Nang Nong Ning where the trees go ‘Ping’, and the tea   pots Jibber Jabber Joo!)  Probably not, it’s too shallow for a keelboat up   there, Spike Milligan (1918-2002) would  possibly  have warned them! 
              
              
              Sounds a bit `Summer wine-ish’ all that,   which takes me back a few years in time to our Last of the Summer Wine group of five   `oldie’ model `yatch-sters’ who met and sailed on a quiet private lake    situated kinda North West-ish of Auckland in New Zealand. All of us fans of the   British sitcom of that name, a story of three men in the Autumn of their lives   set in Yorkshire, England. Dennis, Graham, Roy, the late Bill and myself assumed   the personas and present  day roles of Clegg, Foggy, Compo (and two others   whom I shall mention as Tacker and Whoosh) and we spent many a happy day ribbing   each other and windling.  
              How seriously one takes model yacht sailing   is largely attributed to attitude and the best form of model yacht sailing is   often best enjoyed with fellow friends who have done their serious sailing and   racing fullsize boats and who are now at that age where they `take seriously the   art of  not taking it all too seriously. Instead they just enjoy seeing   their model sailing boats on the water while poking fun at each other, laughing   a lot  and revelling in each others company. (A bit like our Auckland Ancient Mariners come to think of it!) 
              We who are still around (three in the   photograph and I who took the shot) are quietly happy, nay let’s be honest we’re   doggone proud that we  were the `Summer Wine sailors’. I should not speak   for Compo (Bill who passed away)   because one must not speak for the dead, only `kindly’ about  them! 
                
              
                Prepare thee thy sails for the   `Windler’. 
                  The wind that almost always blows in on Onepoto at about ten am on a   Thursday is known with affection by Auckland’s Ancient Mariners as `the Windler!’ 
                  
               
              
              The Santa Barbara One Design is a fractionally-rigged   sloop with an almost six foot long hull and is a popular class registered with   the American Model Yachting Association. It could well be described as having a `drop dead beautiful’   appearance and fleets are raced in Las Vegas, Buffalo, Chicago, Omaha and   Calgary and obviously in several areas of California. They also have a following   in Honolulu and in Ontario, Canada. Impressive because of their size and clean   flowing lines they are growing in popularity.  Hard to choose what you   would like to sail isn’t it?  Life is difficult sometimes! 
                
              Contrasting to the Santa Barbara Own Design, many   readers will remember their very young days when they hammered and sawed to   fashion wee boats often of crude appearance, many of them often with   questionable sailing qualities. I well remember the Brahmin that as  a youngster perhaps   aged about nine or ten at the time and named after a cantankerous bay gelding   raced at D’Urban Park where my dad trained a few   gallopers. 
              My sloop (well I must have thought it looked like one!)   had two old handkerchiefs for sails which my `gran’ gave me, a chisel-gouged and   stained in places pine deck, a crude looking mast, a keel flattened out of a   vegetable soup tin can and  a rudder, the latter locked for straight   running in drains swollen by excessive rains that flowed past the family home.   Just as well I never got a photo of her for she was pretty crude and did not   seem to be able to hold a straight course, I wonder why? 
                
              Now had I then had Brahmin II  (seen above) given to me by Roy Lake a couple    years ago, I could well have become the `Laud of the swollen drains’. Well,   possibly so, although `Bangalang’ Green,  a fat boy from up the road usually won most of the   races. 
              
              None the less these `nautical masterpieces’ often   delivered pleasure and made many a young lad very happy. So as they could not   get away, stern-tied string was the `in’ thing! Don’t laugh, another late   Milligan’s song went `String, string an important thing!’ Irwin Schuster of   Tampa, Florida sent me photos of this 33 cm LOA boat that he has owned for some   ten years, a quirky `daddy’ boat built by someone with no maritime knowledge but   not lacking in the determination and   enthusiasm areas, and with a good supply of string. 
                
                
                
              And so I will end, with the hope of another journey into   the world of model sailing boats next month. I’ve been wondering how   long I can continue to provide what hopefully some might just possibly consider   to be` interesting stuff ‘ while constantly reminded of the words of Charles de   Gaulle that old age is (nothing   more than) a shipwreck.    (Oscar Hoodwink my pc of   questionable age keeps telling me that he is ill and tired!) What’s more,   although depending on ones religious beliefs the souls of the good either instantly or eventually go up, from my observations our   often aged ship-wrecked  'remains' do all go down. 
              The dramatic 85c denomination postage stamp image from   the Republic of Transkei, a   region in the Eastern Cape of  South Africa indicates the sad final moments   of a vessel’s descent into the sea. 
              ***** 
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